Swamp Journal

I just caught the end of The Wizard of Oz on AMC. I'm always a little sad when I see the movie because when I was a kid we had a cairn terrier who looked just like Toto. :-( But I digress....

Way back when I regularly hung out on CompuServe, one of the most popular discussions we had was over who we would cast in a remake of the classic movie. Lots of people had suggestions, and we got off onto side discussions of making the movie as a farce, or some weird Stephen King version where the Wizard (played by Rutger Hauer -- remember The Hitcher?) rips Dorothy's still-beating heart out of her chest and gives it to the Tin Man. But here's what I'd like to see, in my warped vision:

• Dorothy – Sarah Silverman. I never said it was a G-rated movie.
• Scarecrow – Jim Carrey. Everyone seems to suggest this.
• Cowardly Lion – Drew Carey. Maybe I should have gotten Mariah Carey or Carrie Fisher for Dorothy?
• Tin Man – Eddie Murphy
• Wicked Witch of the West – Roseanne. Barr, Arnold, whatever.
• Winged Monkey – Paul Reubens. If he’s unavailable, Gilbert Gottfried.
• Good Witch – Kathy Griffin.
• Wizard – I’m torn on this one; one one hand, I’d love to see Don Rickles, but I could just as easily go completely the opposite way with Bob Newhart. Lewis Black, anyone?
• Auntie Em – Kirstie Alley

Opinions? Alternate suggestions?

# posted by MarkSouthFL @ 9:52 PM